The Bradley Cooper Threshold? The Clooney Displacement? The Shelton Naked Scale? You register on whatever the female equivalent of the male attractiveness Richter scale is called. Impressive physique or dreadful physique, at least that gets you noted. "Because remember, underneath our clothes, we're all. I think the worst part of the dream is that I am so physically inadequate that none of the women in it noticed I wore a wide-open bathrobe and nothing else. If I’m not having any of the funny stuff with the ladies in my dream, I sure as all heck am not having any of the funny stuff with the guys in the dream either. With a male friend and his male acquaintance. And how does this dream that started with so much potential wrap up? They couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me, even in my own damned dream. I was hosting a bunch of people in my home: ex-girlfriends, beautiful women on twitter who I’ve never physically met before, and female strangers who were also pleasant to look at. Oh sure, the next line, if I were being honest and they were still reading, would be: They see those first two lines, and assuming they don’t fall to the floor gibbering in primal horror while curling up into the fetal position, immediately take a pass on reading further.
These two lines are extremely handy for starting blog posts that I don’t want friends, family, or, frankly, anyone who has seen me, reading. And now, a word from our sponsor: me! My books are available! The Santa Claus Gang: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to rinse my eyes out in bleach, then drill some holes into my skull to destroy two parts of my brain, the section that make mental pictures out of words that I read and the section that remembers those pictures. If the focus is so bad I can’t tell whether or not you’re completely naked, don’t bother posting it (though in the case of Blake Shelton, I thank you for the poor focus))īlake shelton nakt? Is there no end to your depravity, internet?
blake shelton completely naked (look, either you’re naked or you’re not naked – none of this I-can’t-decide nonsense in your internet-posted pictures, please.blake shelton nude fakes (oh wait, there are impersonators out there!).the naked blake shelton (not to be confused with all those naked Blake Shelton impersonators).Here are some of the more family-friendlyish variations on this nudie Blake concept: To spare my gentle readers (i.e., those not here to gawk at Blake Shelton), I aggregated them all into the Blake + Shelton + category. The only thing more disturbing than the huge landslide win achieved by ‘Blake Shelton naked’ is all the various misspelled and I-don’t-know-what versions of that phrase dumped into search engines that landed these sick freaks at my blog. THREE PERCENTAGE POINTS! RUSH LIMBAUGH? How is that even possible? Lovecraft couldn’t have imagined a horror that terrifying (or more non-Euclidean in its geometry)! Click on image to see the horror in full-sized clarity. ‘Rush Limbaugh naked’ only lost to ‘Wil Wheaton naked’ by three percentage points.
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